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make a list of qualities you want in partner

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It was great fun from that point on we met regularly and he even came over to my place to help me with my college studies,. Some of it is unreliable as she tells the same stories over and over with her own different spin depending on what she wants you to believe. And you can’t help but feel a little frustrated. They are the perfect person for you at the time to work on changing the dysfunctional patterns that you both have learned from the past.

Readers should be informed. 2. Review it periodically and change it as you learn more about yourself. don't ignore those feelings, and i believe you will be better able to spot someone who is not good for you. You like having someone telling you what to do, because that is way easier than taking responsibility over your own life. Make your list … If you want to be with that person each day, make them feel that way. But what if our choice of feelings, particularly negative ones, is the result not of the influence our prospective partner has on us, but rather maladaptive relationship styles or dysfunctional coping mechanisms or past trauma or the like? It's not nice at all. If you’ve ever made a list of personal qualities you want to see in a spouse or partner, you know that these characteristics matter as much in day-to-day situations as in extraordinary ones. (Women may face similar issues, too.) (For starters, if you're not concerned enough about your own happiness, it's harder to be genuinely concerned about a potential partner's happiness.) Register for free and get started today (no card required). I am now seeing someone who has no idea how to manipulate or even flatter.

I think "feeling good" really depends on the circumstances and basic compatibility between the two people. Only the luckiest people can do just what they feel right and be successful. You’ve been there before, sitting across the table from a first date. It is important to become friends first. Visualize your future.

So, what happens next? I love you shifa forever and forever. He has the same values as you. It happens, you will have arguments and disagreements about things. I get it. This "feeling great" has nothing to do with the quality of the relationship but, has to do with the idealization of the love object by projecting on to him/her all the wonderful qualities we needed our parents to have that they didn't. Who knows what the future will bring but how I feel about the man I'm with now? We can appreciate many fine qualities in a person, but that doesn’t mean she or he is going to make us feel the way we want to feel. This is a trait that can even be amplified when you are married. If the honeymoon phase creates unreliable good feelings based on a distorted view of the person, that can be a problem if you want to assess whether this person makes you feel how you want to feel. I was not needy and gave him a lot of space but he was happy not to have a lot of face time. Only this one matters. But you’re not done yet. laugh, leaning back in my arms The payoffs are multifold and ultimately self-perpetuating. But keep in mind that, outside the comments in which I played quick and fast with terms, I didn't say "feel good" -- I said "feel the way you want to feel," which means something different for each person, and may have a particular meaning or interpretation for persons with baseline mood disorders. Use strategies and your feminine wisdom to improve things. Ultimately what makes a person "like" you can also make the other person "hate" you too. The 6 Most Important Traits to Look for in a Partner. Take care, all.

Most people have to struggle a little bit. I don't believe you are qualified to provide this type of information in "Psychology Today". Perhaps you are saying that we should reflect upon what feelings we are consistently choosing to have in relation to our prospective mate. Opinion articles should be adressed as that, and not mixed up with the other contents in this site. Another failed date. Learn from these reasons as you move forward.

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So, your article is a welcome breath of fresh air. Hope you all find that special someone before next Valentine's Day, or if you have them; hold them ever close and don't ever let them go! "...its th positivity th kindness th level of intelligenc th sense of humour tht tell ppl apart ..from sharp to blunt..from enjoyable to boring..unconsciously we inteprate thoz gud qualities as hw som1 make us feel...its subjectv diverse bt though we cnt realy tell in our grey might, we hv alist in there. Just wanted to mention that. Are there any good articles that teach women how to treat their men right, be sensitive to them and make them feel good about themselves? Synopsis: So while the idea of selecting based on how they make you feel sounds great, my view is that it would be very difficult to put into practice until the honeymoon phase go the relationship (on average two years) has ended. Then we know we have found each other and will stay together since. An important part of any relationship is the compatibility of values.

By Nicole Yi. Do Not Sell My Personal Information. While the reasons we fall in love are often a mystery, the reasons we stay in love are far less elusive.

This is not scientific, at all, and this situation ends up being a disservice to the psychology field. I hope you have more success and happiness and other relationships. I feel the problems in our relationship stem from the way my husband was treated as a child. After we first went out I found him pretty interesting, though. I actually didn't know what to expect from out first date. Because we love you. But ultimately, once I've had even a moment to reflect, I choose what feelings to continue to have.

I agree in one sense, but in another sense I think the "one thing" might be good for single people to keep in mind when they first meet someone. Ever feel like dating is one gigantic waste of time? Of course, it doesn't only depend on them but also on the mood I am in and they are in as individuals but if the situation is reaccuring, it can tell a lot to a person and it can be true in all sort of relationships.

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